


Always, We Begin Again

by timtamtawney



Series: Post-Canon Oneshots [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28566801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timtamtawney/pseuds/timtamtawney
Summary: In the wee days after the war, Catra wants to learn how to be a friend.~~~Catra and Glimmer start a secret fight club.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Series: Post-Canon Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2093883
Comments: 10
Kudos: 141





	Always, We Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly meant this to be more humorous but it's really just more hurt/comfort. This is a sort of prequel to my other Glimmer & Catra fic, Forever is Composed of Nows.

“I want to have friends,” Catra said one warm, hazy afternoon, seemingly unprompted.

A few days had passed since Adora destroyed Horde Prime and his mothership, so for the first time in their lives, it felt like the neither of them had anything to do. Catra was reading some silly book about princesses and knights she had found in the Bright Moon library while Adora dozed in her lap. These books always seemed to work out the same way (this was the fourth book in this genre Catra was reading. For research purposes only, of course, not because she liked them.) – the knight would fall in love with the princess and come to live in her castle with all of her friends.

Catra found that strange, though – did the knight not have her own friends before she met the princess?

Catra certainly had friends, even if she had been terrible to them. Scorpia and Entrapta were good people, though – better than she deserved – so they had forgiven her. Still, Scorpia was going to try and reclaim the Fright Zone with Perfuma and Entrapta was planning on returning to Dryl with Hordak (frankly, Catra tried to avoid thinking about whatever was going on between those two). Her only friends she hadn’t met through Adora were going to be leaving her.

No, not leaving _her_ , she corrected herself. They would still be friends, even if their lives took them in different directions.

“You, uh,” Adora hesitated, frowning a little, “you have friends, like me and Bow and Glimmer and Scorpia and – “

“That’s not what I mean, dummy,” Catra said, giving Adora’s forehead a loving poke. “Scorpia and Entrapta are going back to their own homes eventually. But I’m going to stay here with you.”

Adora turned to look up at Catra, her lower lip quivering a little. “No, I mean, I get it, you don’t _have_ to if you don’t want to,” Adora starts.

“Would you just shut up and listen for a second?” Catra chides, snickering. “I want to actually be friends with Sparkles and Arrow Boy.”

“You don’t have to do that for me,” Adora said.

“It’s not for you, it’s for me. I don’t want to just be the “friend’s girlfriend” in the group, you know?”

“Awwww, really?” Adora gave her that brilliant, wide-eyed smile that set Catra’s heart aflutter every time she got to bask in it. “Maybe you should try calling them by their real names, then.”

“Fine! Bow and…” Catra swallowed hard. “Glimmer,” she finished, voice strained. “I want to be friends with Bow and Glimmer.”

Adora chortled so hard she snorted, then seemed to laugh more _because_ she snorted. “You make it sound like you’re being tortured.”

“Can I help it? Who names their kid Glimmer?”

“As if your name is any better, Miss Catra Meowmeow,” Adora giggled.

“And whose fault is that? Thanks for reminding me that I’m naming our kids,” Catra groaned.

“Awwww, you want to have kids with me?” Adora asked, eyes glowing.

“Ugh, shut up.” Catra covered Adora’s mouth with her palm, groaning. “Just for that, I’m going to become better friends with your friends than you are. Then _you’ll_ be the friend’s girlfriend in the group.”

“Oh noooo,” Adora wailed, wriggling away. “Stabbed in the back by the girl I love. Can you imagine?”

Catra snickered along with Adora, but it sounded a little forced to her own ears. Adora seemed to have forgiven Catra awfully easily and seemed ready to start joking about their past, but it was still painful for Catra to think about all the things she had done to Adora.

To everyone, really.

“It’s just… when Horde Prime was here, we had to get along to beat him. Now, nobody has to be my friend anymore,” Catra admitted quietly, after their laughter had subsided.

Adora gave her a tender look. “Nobody ever _has_ to be anyone’s friend, Catra. Bow and Glimmer already like you, I promise.”

 _Promise_. It was a powerful word between the two of them. Even if Adora was so dumb about feelings that she did not realize Catra had been love with her, maybe she was right about this. Catra smiled back at Adora.

“Okay, princess. If you say so.”

~~~

Making friends on her own was easier said than done, however, especially given that Adora didn’t have many duties as She-Ra right now. Catra was actually thankful for that – there were years of pent-up feelings within her that, by some miracle, Adora was finally ready to accept. However, it still made it difficult to get any alone time with Bow or Glimmer, who busier than ever managing the kingdom and preparing for their upcoming trip into space.

Even more annoyingly, Adora still wanted to spend all hours of the day exercising.

“I don’t even get,” Catra huffed as Adora kicked at the strike mitts in Catra’s hands, “why you need to train.”

“What do you mean?” Adora asked after a series of kicks, hunching over with her hands on her knees. Her chest was heaving, but Catra’s eyes lingered on Adora’s collarbones.

“Huh?” Catra shook her head. It still felt new and dangerous to look at Adora, to really _look_ at her without shame or fear of reprisal. “Oh, uh, aren’t the huge muscles part of the She-Ra package? Why bother with all this exercise?”

“I _like_ it,” Adora said, shaking her head. “And I’m pretty sure you like it, too.” Adora’s eyebrows bounced as she flexed an arm, prompting an exaggerated eyeroll from Catra.

“I don’t not like it,” Catra muttered, her ears flicking about.

Adora giggled, straightening up. “You’re right, though. That’s probably enough for tonight. Want to jog back to our room?”

“Uh, I might stick around a little longer. I barely got to get in any exercise myself,” Catra said.

“Oh, so now you want to work out?” Adora gave Catra a teasing smile. “Fine, I wanted to take a hot bath before bed, anyway.”

Catra smiled at her girlfriend’s back as Adora jogged out of the exercise space in Castle Bright Moon. She doubted that Adora would ever manage to be truly selfish (not that she should be), but Adora had started enjoying a few small indulgences – taking the occasional luxurious bath, asking for sugar in her tea instead of taking it black, and (very rarely) running in late to a meeting because she stayed in bed too long with Catra.

It warmed Catra’s heart to know that Adora was finally living for herself, if only in small ways.

Catra shucked the training mitts and dragged out a punching bag. She was hesitant to start sparring again with Adora – imagining fighting Adora dragged up memories that filled her with hot, bitter shame. Still, she felt the itch. She had been forged into a weapon by the Horde from childhood, so it felt unnatural to just… stop fighting, even though for once, there was nobody to fight.

Someday, she would probably be able to spar with Adora like they did as children – joking and giggling while trading blows.

For now, it was too painful, even just for a workout. Fortunately, Adora had not noticed – or she had, but had tactfully decided not to bring it up. Even after all these years, it was tough to tell what Adora picked up on. She could be annoyingly perceptive sometimes and annoyingly dense at others.

 _“Annoying” seems to be the only constant_ , Catra smiled to herself as she started a shadowboxing routine.

Catra had just finished warming up when a familiar crackle in the air made her fur stand on end.

“Catra!” Glimmer said after shimmering into existence. “I didn’t expect you here so late.”

“Hey,” Catra remembered her earlier conversation with Adora, “um, Glimmer. It’s nice to see you.”

Glimmer gave her a look like she had grown a second tail. “Are you feeling alright?”

Catra nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Yep, yep. What brings you down here?”

“Oh,” Glimmer sighed, fidgeting with the head of her staff. “Same reason as you, looks like. To get out some frustration. Everyone has so many _demands_ now that the war is over. Can you believe that the mayor of Erelandia expects them to be first in the rebuilding effort?”

“Mm,” Catra intoned. Politicking was above her pay grade and she preferred to keep it that way. “Well, don’t mind me.” She turned back to the punching bag with a wheel kick, exhaling with satisfaction as the stand buckled under the force of her heel. Glimmer watched a few more kicks before piping up again.

“Do you ever miss it?”

Catra paused. “Miss what?” she asked carefully.

“I don’t mean, like, the war,” Glimmer said hastily. “I just mean fighting. Cause, you know, you grew up fighting all the time, right?”

Catra considered Glimmer for a moment. “Yeah, I guess. You?”

Glimmer rolled her staff between her palms. “Yeah.”

Catra felt out of her depth. She couldn’t really tell what Glimmer wanted to say here, but it felt like they were almost on the cusp of having a real conversation for the first time since the _Velvet Glove._ Catra wasn’t about to push Glimmer away.

She elected to wait Glimmer out.

“Do you ever spar with Adora?” Glimmer asked.

Catra’s breath caught in her throat. “Not in a long time. It brings up too many bad memories.”

Glimmer nodded, face thoughtful. “That makes sense. How about sparring with me instead?”

Catra thought back to their most recent fight, when Glimmer had single-handedly torn down a Horde staging facility. That was the first time Catra had really started to respect Glimmer – she became more than just Adora’s annoying, sparkly friend. She had proven herself to be a cunning commander and a strong fighter in her own right.

“That would bring up a different kind of bad memory,” Catra chuckled sheepishly.

Glimmer planted her staff in the ground and leaned forward on it. “Do you want to? Not with gloves and headgear but, like, how we fought in the war.” Catra felt a twinge of discomfort at the sheen of excitement in Glimmer’s eyes, but something made her feel almost obligated to say yes.

Besides, Glimmer was _asking_ her to hang out. It wasn’t going to get much easier than this.

“Uh, sure, I guess,” Catra said, tamping down the fur on her forearms. “But why?”

“I’m not good at this Queen stuff,” Glimmer sighed. “My mom never really taught me anything about ruling, but when we were fighting the Horde, it was fine because my powers are useful for that,” she said, illustrating her point by knocking the punching bag off its base with a small burst of sparkles. “I just miss feeling good at something.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Catra nodded. Fighting was easier than making friends, and it sounded this way, she might be able to do both at once. “Sure, let’s do it. Not tonight, though – I told Adora I would go to bed soon and she…” Catra trailed off, thinking of a diplomatic phrasing. “She probably wouldn’t approve of this.”

Glimmer flashed her a smile. “Yeah, I don’t think Bow would, either. Our little secret, right?”

Catra nodded and returned Glimmer’s smile. “Sounds good, Sparkles. Tomorrow night, then?”

“Yes! See you then,” Glimmer replied before teleporting out.

That night in bed, Catra’s thoughts drifted to the former Queen – Glimmer’s mom. Glimmer hadn’t really confronted Catra about it yet, probably for Adora's sake. In the end, though, Catra had been responsible for her mother’s death. She remembered her own words after it happened – _The Rebellion’s a mess. Their Queen is gone._ Oh, how words that had once made her swell with vindictive pride could make her writhe with shame now!

Maybe, even if she refused to admit it out loud, Glimmer needed to take out her anger at Catra before they could really be friends. Catra was happy to take it – she deserved it, after all.

~~~

“Maybe we do need some ground rules,” Glimmer said the next evening, eyeing Catra’s claws. “It’ll be hard to keep this low key if you poke out my eye.”

“You really think you’re the one that needs to worry?” Catra asked, stretching her shoulders. She remembered Octavia’s eyepatch and winced a little. “Fine, I’ll try to keep them back, but no promises.”

“I won’t use my staff, either. Don’t want to blow up the castle,” Glimmer said, dropping to a ready stance.

Catra rocked back and forth on her feet and considered her approach. Catra was faster on her feet than Glimmer, teleporting aside, but when it came to claws against magic, claws did not really stand a chance. Catra bent her knees and flexed her fingers, mind weighing the possibilities.

If Glimmer wanted to go all out, it really wasn’t going to be a fair fight.

Before she could decide, Glimmer clapped her hands together and a lance of light arced toward Catra. Catra leapt up and away from the beam, causing it to go wide, but Glimmer’s aim had improved since their last fight. Her second shot clipped Catra’s thigh in mid-air, sending her into an uncontrolled spin.

“Ah, sorry!” Glimmer shouted as Catra crashed into the padded mats, forcing the air out of her lungs.

“Shit, Sparkles, you’re not pulling any punches, are you?” Catra groaned as she pushed herself back up. She winced as she tried to knead the dull ache out of her thigh – her skin was probably already turning an angry red under her fur. 

“Sorry, sorry!” Glimmer said hurriedly, face apologetic. “My powers have been a little out of control since the Heart.”

Catra snorted. “Guess Shadow Weaver wasn’t wrong about everything.” She dropped to her fighting stance again. “Come on, let’s go again.”

“Uh, you sure?” Glimmer asked, gazing at her own hands. “That looked like it really hurt.”

“Yeah, that tends to happen in a fight, Sparkles,” Catra said dryly. “Come on!”

Glimmer hesitated, so Catra darted in. Glimmer ducked a palm strike and hopped back to avoid Catra’s follow-up. Glimmer reared back, fists aglow, but Catra danced out of reach. Catra grinned – her muscles were screaming in joy. She dashed back in.

“You’re not bad for a princess,” Catra said, chest heaving after they broke apart again. Glimmer had landed a glancing blow or two, but Catra had given as good as she got – three thin red lines stretched down Glimmer’s neck.

“You said you were going to keep your claws in!”

Catra shrugged, examining her nails. “I could’ve gone deeper. Adora gets worse than that all the time,” she said, waggling her eyebrows.

“Ugh, gross.” Glimmer scrunched up her nose. “I do _not_ need to hear about that. And fine, fine, it barely hurts,” she said before phasing out of sight.

“Your powers are kind of unfair, you know.” Catra ducked under a punch and into a leg sweep. Glimmer fell backward but teleported back before she hit the ground. “During the war, why didn’t you just teleport Hordak off a cliff or something?”

Glimmer flashed forward and magic spiked out like a shooting star. Catra twisted away, smelling sulfur as the white-hot magic singed her fur.

“I wasn’t always this strong. I used to share the power of the runestone with my mom.”

“And after that?”

“After that, I had a better plan. Or I thought I did, anyway.” Glimmer wiped her brow and flickered out of Catra’s line of sight.

Catra was a little surprised that Glimmer had brought her mom up so casually, but her next flurry of blows made Catra curious exactly how much resentment boiled under that bubblegum and cotton candy exterior.

Catra wondered, with a thrill of fear, what it would be like to take one of Glimmer’s light-augmented punches head-on. Even that small cold princess hit like a truck, and Catra assumed that Glimmer was Queen because she was the strongest. 

_Well,_ Catra thought, _if that’s what it takes for us to be friends…_

“What was it like growing up in the Horde?” Glimmer asked after another blocked punch, rousing Catra from her thoughts.

“I thought Adora would have told you all that stuff already.”

“She told me what it was like for her.” Glimmer wheezed as Catra drove her palm into Glimmer’s chest with a satisfying thud. “What was it like for you?”

“Same stuff,” Catra muttered after whirling around a dangerous-looking ball of light. “Ration bars, waking up at the crack of dawn for training, you know.”

Glimmer raised an arm and giggled, breathing heavily. “Adora told me you usually overslept morning training. No, I meant what was Shadow Weaver like?”

“Oh,” Catra paused, straightening up. “You sure you wanna talk about that?”

Glimmer shrugged. “My dad grew up with her, too. I just want to understand.”

Catra exhaled and shook her head. “It probably wasn’t the same. Your dad, Adora, even you – she saw all of you as useful. I was just some useless kid she found in a box.”

“Useful?” Glimmer asked, cocking her head. “How did she know Adora would be useful?”

Catra shrugged. “She always knew more than she let on. Maybe she always knew about the Failsafe.”

“Wait, so…” Glimmer’s expression morphed into disgust. “You think Shadow Weaver raised her to die activating the Failsafe?”

“Maybe. Guess we’ll never know, huh?”

“Guess not…” Glimmer trailed off, frowning. “That would explain a lot, though.”

“Right? Though Adora’s so dumb that she would probably volunteer, anyway,” Catra laughed.

“Yeah, but that’s so messed up,” Glimmer murmured. “Still, I guess I’m sorry she died. It sounds like both of you had complicated feelings about her.”

“Yeah,” Catra said, staring at the floor. She didn’t really want to talk about Shadow Weaver right now. Maybe never again, honestly. On the other hand, telling Glimmer about her childhood seemed like something a friend would probably do. In fact, the next thing a good friend would probably do is ask Glimmer about her childhood, right?

Catra wasn’t ready to talk about Glimmer’s mom, though. Not yet.

“Hey, I’m getting pretty tired. Same time tomorrow?”

“Oh! Uh, sure. Do you want me to teleport you up?” Glimmer asked, looking a little surprised.

“Nah, that’s okay. I could use the walk to cool down, anyway.”

Adora was already raising a racket with her snores by the time Catra got to their room, so Catra nursed her bruises silently. She was glad that they wouldn’t show through her fur. Adora would probably insist that this was a bad way of making friends, but Adora always had an easy time making friends with anyone, just like Bow and Scorpia. They were all warm, big-hearted people.

Glimmer was different, though – prickly and ill-tempered, just like her.

Her new life was beguiling – Catra still wasn't sure how to make friends, how to be a good girlfriend, or even what she should do with herself now that the fighting was over. Maybe if she became friends with Glimmer with her own power, she would feel like she deserved all the good things that had been happening to her. 

~~~

Catra’s eyes fluttered open to the sight of morning light bathing Adora’s sleeping face. It was still early if Adora wasn’t awake, but Catra’s hips and thigh were too sore for her to stay asleep. She sat up and stretched, groaning loudly as she pulled a tight muscle in her side.

“You okay?” Adora mumbled, eyes half-open. Her hair lay in a loose halo around her head, gleaming gold like she was a painting of a holy figure. Catra supposed that, in a way, many Etherians thought of her as a saint. They should, anyway.

“Sorry,” Catra whispered. “Just sore. Go back to sleep.”

“Nah, I probably won’t be able to fall asleep again, anyway.” Adora rolled onto her side and smiled radiantly at Catra. “You were out late last night, huh?”

“I ran into Sparkles in the gym. We hung out. It went pretty well,” Catra said casually. 

“Aw, really?” Adora said, eyes big. “That’s so great!”

Catra looked away, feeling her skin grow warm. “It’s no big deal, we had to hang out on Prime’s ship for weeks.”

“It’s different down here, though, right? Now that you’re not enemies…”

It _was_ different, which is exactly why it wasn’t easy. Catra wasn’t really sure how to explain, so she changed the subject. “Hey, when you first got here, was it like this for you?”

“Like what?” Adora asked, furrowing her brow.

“Like… so bright and shiny. And everyone’s so _nice_ ,” Catra muttered.

“Oh. Yeah, it was a lot at first,” Adora replied. “Why? Is it too much? I bet we could get someone to repaint our room if you want and you don’t have – “

Catra cut Adora off by burying her face in her girlfriend’s neck. “Sorry,” she mumbled. After a lifetime of avoidance, Catra still found it difficult to say sorry. All the things she had done wrong kept smacking her in the face on a near-daily basis, though. All she could do was apologize to Adora whenever she realized yet another time that she had messed up their relationship and hope that Adora could keep finding it in her heart to forgive her.

“For what?” Adora asked, clearly confused.

“For making you figure out all of this stuff on your own back then. For making it harder.”

Adora gently pushed Catra away until she could gaze into her eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters. Okay?”

Catra nodded and let Adora pull her into a reassuring kiss. Her breath caught in her throat – it wasn’t their first or even their tenth kiss, but Catra still felt like she was in a waking dream every time their lips brushed. She wondered at times how things would have been different if she had worked up the courage to confess her feelings before Adora found the sword. Could she have been brave enough to follow Adora to Bright Moon?

“Geez, you’re so perfect,” Catra whispered after they broke apart.

“Silly,” Adora murmured, shaking her head. “I’m really not.”

“How can you say that? After everything I did to you, you’re still – “

“Can I apologize for something?” Adora interrupted.

“What do you have to – “ Catra started, but fell silent when Adora gave her a stern look. “Fine, go ahead.”

“When we were in the Horde…” Adora rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, apparently struggling to find the right words. “I really did think I was better than the rest of the cadets. I’m sorry for that.”

“Come on, that was just Shadow Weaver whispering in your ear,” Catra said dismissively. “And you tested better than the rest of us, anyway.” Adora didn’t have to feel sorry about _that_.

“It hurt you, didn’t it?” Adora gave Catra a look, who nodded reluctantly. When they were kids, she had always played it off like she didn’t care, but the Adora-favoritism had rankled. A lot. “Then I’m sorry, okay? Now I know how strong you can be when you try.”

“It’s okay,” Catra sighed. “See? You really are perfect.”

Adora giggled, light and clear, and pulled Catra into a hug. “I’m not. But being with you makes me want to try to be,” she whispered.

If Catra hadn’t already been blushing, she certainly was after that line, so she hid her face in Adora’s neck. “Me, too,” she said in a muffled voice. “I just… I wish we could take back all the stuff we did to each other.”

Adora shrugged underneath her. “Well, we can’t. All we can do is say sorry and be better in the future.”

“I will be, okay? I promise.” For little things like this, Adora was probably right - it would be enough to promise to be better in the future. But there were things Catra had done that no apology would be enough to fix.

 _At least I didn’t do them to Adora_ , Catra thought, but her stomach twisted at her selfishness.

“I know. Me, too.” Adora pulled Catra tight against her and rolled over. Pinned to their bed, Catra was suddenly having a difficult time remembering what she had been thinking about. “Now…” Adora murmured.

Catra swallowed thickly, arching an eyebrow. Adora’s scent was intoxicating and everywhere at once, and her body felt so wonderfully heavy pressed against her own. She knew that someday, she would get acclimated to kissing Adora, but she suspected (hoped, even) that _this_ would always take her breath away. Catra’s eyes fluttered closed and she tilted her chin up toward Adora, baring her neck, and – 

“Do you wanna join me for my morning run?” Adora asked, pushing herself off of the bed. “Let’s not sleep in too long.”

“No, I hate you.”

~~~

Over the next several evenings, Catra shared more about herself with Glimmer while sparring. Glimmer teased Catra for not being able to confess her feelings to Adora when they were younger, but Catra pointed out that she was surprised to hear that Glimmer and Bow _weren’t_ together until the very end of the war. That earned Catra a volley of sparkle blasts, but she cackled as she dodged them.

It wasn’t like they were running out of things to talk about – quite the opposite, really – they had gotten pretty good at whiling away hours with small talk aboard the _Velvet Glove_. Rather, every time they happened to talk about their childhoods, Catra felt like the elephant in the room was getting bigger and heavier – why wasn’t Glimmer pointing out that Catra was the reason she had no mom? Did she not know? Did Adora not tell her exactly what happened?

The worst part was that the more Catra learned about Glimmer, the more she realized they had a lot in common. Catra really did want to be friends with Glimmer, but she became more and more aware that she probably didn’t deserve Glimmer’s forgiveness.

Eventually, Catra decided that she needed to bring it up herself, even if it meant potentially losing Glimmer for good. 

“Same rules as usual?” Glimmer asked that evening, unfastening her cape and letting it drop to the floor.

“Sure,” Catra replied, lowering her center of mass and trying to force her claws back. The smell of magic always made her adrenaline spike, but that wasn’t Glimmer’s fault. Catra tried to approach the fight with more of an unruffled demeanor.

Glimmer flickered in and immediately began raining a barrage of unpowered blows, which Catra blocked as she let herself be pushed back. Against Glimmer, maintaining her footing was much more important than maintaining territory – Glimmer could teleport herself within striking distance whenever she wanted. Glimmer hadn’t grown up in the Horde, however, and she was no Magicat. If she wasn’t going to use her magic, the advantage was Catra’s.

“Ha!” Catra shouted after raking a claw along Glimmer’s forearm, leaving a thin pink line. She breathed deep and felt a thrill of excitement run up her spine.

“Ugh, that’s just because I wasn’t using my magic!”

Without warning, a shaft of light flashed toward Catra with stunning speed and strength. Catra heard her heart thundering in her ears as she dropped low. She leapt away before Glimmer could follow up.

“Yikes, I feel bad for your friends growing up,” Catra quipped, just leaping out of another blast. “How many times did you blast them during a temper tantrum?”

Glimmer huffed and let loose a series of blasts, but Catra stayed light on her feet. “If you _have_ to know, Bow was my only friend growing up.”

“Huh,” Catra said, chest heaving. Her lungs burned – staying ahead of Glimmer was exhausting. Still, Catra always made time to chat up her opponents in a fight. “Guess we have that in common.”

Glimmer paused mid-attack, frowning. “Bow was your only friend, too?”

“No, dummy, I meant Adora,” Catra replied, and in Glimmer’s moment of confusion, Catra seized the momentum. 

“That makes a lot more sense,” Glimmer said, retreating just out of Catra’s reach in a shimmer of light. Catra pushed forward, eager to keep her opponent on her back foot, and after a few blocked strikes, Catra’s claws found purchase on Glimmer’s shoulder.

“Say,” Catra started. “They’re kind of similar like that, right? Everyone wanted to be Adora’s friend, growing up.”

Glimmer phased herself away and resumed her long-range barrage. “Yeah,” she said, and Catra could see her soft smile from across the room. “Same with Bow, once he came out of his shell. I used to get _so_ jealous.”

Another blinding ray of light streaked by Catra and she could swear the ground itself trembled with its passing.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like when Perfuma asked him to go with her to Princess Prom, I was so mad at him for saying yes,” Glimmer said before teleporting forward with a spinning kick.

Catra retreated, countering Glimmer’s blows when she could and dodging when she couldn’t. “So what did you do?”

Glimmer’s cheeks flushed with color, and Catra could tell that it wasn’t just from exertion. “Oh, a bunch of dumb stuff. Then you showed up, which made things even worse.”

“And then?” Catra asked, chest heaving. All that time aboard the _Velvet Glove_ and the extraordinarily rich food at Bright Moon hadn’t been great for her conditioning.

“I guess I realized he was allowed to hang out with other people.”

Catra dove under Glimmer’s outstretched arm and tumbled away, putting some distance between the two of them. She rolled her eyes as Glimmer’s hands began to glow. “I wish that’s all it took for me to learn that.”

Glimmer feinted a blast of magic and flickered forward. “Hey, it’s genetic! My mom always said I was stubborn and hotheaded, just like my dad.”

 _Her mom again._ Catra blocked and dodged Glimmer’s punches and kicks in silence for a few moments. “You keep bringing up your mom,” she muttered.

Glimmer gritted her teeth and jabbed at Catra’s shoulder, but she managed to bat it away. “Yeah?”

“You keep bringing her up.” Catra ducked another jab. “Like I wasn’t – “ Glimmer whiffed a hook. “The one that killed her.”

“And you keep – “ Catra teetered back to dodge an uppercut. “Ignoring it.”

Glimmer leaned forward and twisted her hips, aiming a hook at Catra’s body. “I’m not IGNORING it!”

Catra’s eyes widened – she was off-balance, and Glimmer’s fist was shining with blinding light. There was a moment’s pause as Glimmer drove her fist into Catra’s side. Then, she was off her feet for a relatively painless second until the far wall broke her flight, crushing the air from her lungs.

She slumped to her knees, groaning.

“Oh no,” Glimmer said, teleporting to Catra’s feet.

“Do you feel better now?” Catra groaned. She didn’t even need to look – this was going to bruise worse than any of the times She-Ra had hit her. She tried to right herself but staggered, head spinning.

“No!” Glimmer chided. “Why would this make me feel better?” She crouched and pulled Catra’s top up, revealing rapidly discoloring skin under Catra’s fur. “This doesn’t look good. I’m going to get Adora.”

“No, she’ll just – “ Catra started, but Glimmer had already teleported away. Catra realized that actually, getting Adora wasn’t such a bad idea, because she was feeling rather lightheaded.

Really, if Glimmer didn’t come back soon, she was going to –

~~~

Catra woke basking in the warm, familiar glow of Adora’s healing magic. She stretched her neck and groaned in anticipation of a dull ache in her side, but the pain was gone.

“We gotta stop making a habit of this,” Catra murmured, opening her eyes with a weak smile. Her eyes took in the room – she was back in her bed, Melog curled up at her feet. Glimmer must have teleported her up here when she was passed out. She was thankful for that, at least – if she was unconscious, she couldn’t get motion sick.

Adora’s face broke into a watery smile and she pulled Catra tight against her chest. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Catra replied.

“Okay, good,” Adora murmured. “Now,” she straightened up and regarded Catra with an expression usually reserved for Horde bots and, presumably, misbehaving children, “you are going to explain to me what the hell you two were fighting about.”

Catra’s eyes flicked to Glimmer, who was clutching her staff so tightly that her knuckles were white.

“No, Adora – “

“Look, it wasn’t – “

Catra and Glimmer shared a look, then Catra spoke up. “It was just sparring practice, Adora.”

Adora glanced from Catra’s fading bruise to the long scratches on Glimmer’s arms and shoulders. She let out a measured breath, then turned to Glimmer. “Glimmer, could I talk to my girlfriend in private?”

Catra swallowed hard at the edge in Adora’s voice and shot Glimmer a pleading look. Glimmer, clearly uninterested in facing She-Ra’s wrath, dissipated into a shower of pink and purple lights.

Satisfied that Glimmer was out of earshot, Adora turned back to Catra. “Is she bullying you? Is this like that time with Frosta?” Adora asked in a low voice.

“No, dummy,” Catra replied, snickering. “We were seriously just sparring.”

“Without protective gear? That’s not sparring, that’s just fighting,” Adora said. “Glimmer’s magic is really strong, too, so why – “

“She said she missed fighting, so I said I’d fight with her,” Catra shrugged, sitting up.

Adora frowned. “Why? That doesn’t – that doesn’t sound healthy,” she said slowly.

“I miss it, too,” Catra admitted quietly.

“Then we could fight instead – “ 

“No, Adora, we can’t,” Catra said, her voice growing hard.

Adora paused for a moment and her expression softened. “Oh,” she murmured, her eyes shining with concern. “Catra,” she swallowed, “is something wrong? You can tell me.”

Catra closed her eyes. This was yet another thing she needed to practice – telling Adora when she wasn’t happy. It was hard to put a finger on just _one_ thing that was wrong with how great her life suddenly was, with how everyone was treating her like she had been on the right side all along. “Everything, I guess.”

“Everything?” Adora asked.

“Not everything,” Catra corrected herself. She gaze Adora’s hand a brief squeeze, earning a soft smile from her girlfriend. “It’s just that everything is so… good.”

“You’re kind of giving me mixed signals here,” Adora said, cocking her head.

Catra sighed. “Everything’s so good now and it feels like it’s _despite_ all the things I did. Like I don’t deserve any of it.”

Adora scooted next to Catra and wrapped her arm around Catra’s shoulder. Catra grumbled but leaned her head against Adora’s shoulder. Almost involuntarily, her tail circled Adora’s waist.

“I couldn’t have stopped Prime without you, you know,” Adora whispered.

“That was still mostly you. I just gave you the kick in the butt you needed.”

“That’s not a very romantic way to describe our first kiss,” Adora giggled, nuzzling her face in Catra’s hair.

Catra snorted and the heaviness in her chest seemed to loosen. “I just need to take my time, okay? It’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Okay,” Adora nodded. “Just tell me if I’m pushing too hard.” Adora laced her finger’s with Catra’s before speaking up again. “So what does getting beaten up by Glimmer have to do with it?”

“Ugh, it wasn’t like that, really. We just got to talking about her mom…”

“And it made her so mad that she punched you?” Adora asked, brows knitted.

“I guess. Well, no,” Catra replied. “It’s just – I guess I was egging her on, really.”

“Wait.” Adora frowned and Catra could see the wheels turning in her head. “Is this – ?”

Catra cocked her head, puzzled.

“Okay, Catra. I’m going to send Glimmer in here and you two are going to talk it out like _friends_ do.”

“No, Adora, wait – “ Catra started, eyes wide, but Adora had already pulled away. _I’m not ready for this_ , Catra thought to herself as Adora left the room. Maybe she’d never be ready for it, though. But maybe despite that, she had to do it anyway.

Catra groaned when Glimmer materialized in front of her but didn’t otherwise speak up. Glimmer was the first to break the silence.

“Sorry. I got a little too heated, huh?” Glimmer said, flopping down at the other end of the bed. “I’m still not used to all this power.”

“Look, you shouldn’t – you don’t need to apologize,” Catra muttered. She took a deep breath – old habits were hard to break. Bad ones in particular, it seemed. “I’m sorry about your mom, Glim. There are a lot of things I wish I could do over and that is at the top of the list. You don’t have to – “

“It’s okay,” Glimmer said, cutting Catra off.

“It’s… okay?” Catra asked confused.

“Yeah. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not! You don’t have to be nice to me for Adora’s sake, I killed your mom!” Catra exclaimed raggedly.

“How many moms died in the invasion?” Glimmer asked, voice low. “And dads? And kids?”

“That’s not the same, that’s not – “ _That’s not your fault,_ Catra wanted to say. It wasn’t completely Glimmer’s fault, but activating the Heart is what led Horde Prime to Etheria, wasn’t it?

“I’m their Queen, so nobody is even going to hold me accountable for it. It’d be pretty hypocritical of me to hold it against you, right?” Glimmer offered Catra a faint smile.

“It can’t just be that easy, Sparkles,” Catra insisted. “I don’t deserve all this.”

Glimmer shrugged. “So go clean up Salineas. Or, I don’t know, rebuild Thaymore. Or Elberon. Or one of the hundred other places full of people you hurt.”

Catra winced. Was Glimmer trying to make her feel better or worse?

“I’m not saying you don’t owe Etheria an apology. I’m just saying you and me, Catra and Glimmer? We’re okay.”

Catra frowned, weighing her words. Glimmer was clearly carrying around a burden of her own. Maybe they would both have to carry their mistakes around until they felt like they had made up for them. Maybe they would carry them their whole lives.

“Okay," Catra nodded, exhaling slowly. "I guess that makes sense."

“Leave it to the Horde to teach kids that apologizing to someone means letting them beat you up,” Glimmer said, shaking her head with exasperation.

“That’s not – “ Catra started, but couldn’t help but snicker softly. “Adora doesn’t think our fights are a good idea.”

Glimmer sighed. “Well, I guess I’m not surprised. Honestly, I asked you because I thought you’d be the only person who wouldn’t look at me weird for bringing it up. We should probably ask Juliet if there are any “healthier outlets” she recommends.”

Catra snorted. “It was fun, though. You know, talking. We could keep doing that.”

Glimmer gave Catra a strange look. “Yeah, of course we can. Why wouldn’t…” she trailed off, comprehension dawning on her face. “Wait, did you seriously only say yes because you wanted to hang out with me?”

Catra felt her face grow hot as she realized she’d said something dumb. “No!”

“What’s that thing Adora always says to you?” Glimmer asked teasingly. Catra groaned, pulling the covers over her head. “Oh, that’s right. I can’t believe you like me, that’s _so_ embarrassing for you,” she said, laughing.

Catra groaned again from under her sheets. Somehow, this was even worse than apologizing. By a wide margin.

She felt Glimmer hop off the bed. “I should get out of here before Adora kicks me out, huh. Let’s have tea after my morning meetings tomorrow, okay?”

Catra poked her head out of the sheets and crinkled her nose. “Morning? Can’t we just – “ Glimmer shot Catra a stern look. “Fine. Adora’s been nagging me to get up earlier my whole life. I guess it can’t hurt to try.”

Glimmer smiled brightly. “See you then, Horde Scum,” she said, dematerializing into a cloud of glittering light.

Catra collapsed onto her pillow, exhausted, and not just from the sparring match. Being a good friend, being a good girlfriend, apologizing – they all used emotional muscles that had long since atrophied from lack of use. But with Adora, Glimmer, Scorpia, and all her other friends – Catra felt like she could become the sort of person other people called a good friend.

 _Yeah,_ Catra thought as she smiled up at the ceiling, waiting for her girlfriend to come back to their warm, comfortable bed.

_I can do this._

**Author's Note:**

> You can now follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/timtamtawney) if you want, I guess I am reasonably conversational.


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